The Four Agreements: Expectations
Expectations. We all have them. But what happens when our expectations are not met? This is where the Four Agreements come in, and they can be especially helpful in managing our expectations.
The Four Agreements were created by Don Miguel Ruiz, a Mexican author and teacher. They are:
1. Be impeccable with your word.
2. Don`t take anything personally.
3. Don`t make assumptions.
4. Always do your best.
Of these four, the third agreement, “Don`t make assumptions,” is particularly relevant when it comes to expectations.
When we make assumptions, we create expectations. We expect things to be a certain way, and when they are not, we can become disappointed, angry, or frustrated. This can happen in any area of our lives, from work to relationships to our own personal growth.
But if we don`t make assumptions, we don`t create expectations. We accept things as they are, and we are better able to respond to what is actually happening.
For example, let`s say you are in a meeting at work and you have an idea that you think is really good. You assume that your boss will love it. When you present your idea, however, your boss is less than enthusiastic. You feel disappointed and frustrated. But if you didn`t make the assumption that your boss would love your idea, you wouldn`t have been disappointed.
So how do we avoid making assumptions and creating expectations? Here are some tips:
1. Ask questions. If you are unsure about something, ask questions to clarify. This can help you avoid making assumptions.
2. Be open-minded. Don`t be too attached to a particular outcome. Be open to different possibilities.
3. Focus on the present moment. Don`t worry too much about the past or the future. Focus on what is happening right now.
4. Practice mindfulness. Mindfulness can help you stay in the present moment and avoid making assumptions.
By following these tips, you can start to manage your expectations and avoid unnecessary disappointment or frustration. Remember, the key is to be aware of your assumptions, and to avoid making them whenever possible. With practice, you can learn to live in the present moment and respond to what is actually happening, rather than what you assume will happen.